


That's the Way Love Is

by TheEverywhereWriter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Wolfstar - Fandom
Genre: Anxious Sirius, Depressed Remus, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, Playlist Challenge, Poor Remus, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-05 20:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4193508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEverywhereWriter/pseuds/TheEverywhereWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus hates himself. Sirius knows this.</p>
<p>Sirius has anxiety. Remus knows this.</p>
<p>The Moon and The Stars; they know each other like the back of their hands.</p>
<p>From the first "I love you" to the last,</p>
<p>these are the lives of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.</p>
<p>(For the 20 Songs Playlist Challenge. Basically, 20 short drabbles that form together to make one long story).</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's the Way Love Is

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys for reading, it means a lot!  
> WARNING: mentions of a bunch of different types of self ham and suicide. Please read with caution. If you ever feel triggered by any of my works, or anyone else's, feel free to message me and hopefully I can calm you down.  
> Read it on Tumblr: @TheEverywhereWriter

That's What Love Is  
20 Songs Playlist Drabble Challenge  
Put your playlist on shuffle. You have the length of that song to write a drabble. Continue this for twenty songs.  
Harry Potter, Marauder Era  
Wolfstar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black)  
PG-13  
2,118 Words  
____________________________________________________________________

Give Me Love -Ed Sheeran  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus stood in front of the bathroom mirror, shirtless, studying his body. He watched how it moved; he studied its creases and curves and everything in between.

Then, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and took a long, sorrowful sip.

Remus stared at the scars that ran all along his torso. They were ugly, he knew, but they were a part of him all the same.

He fell to the ground silently and stone-faced, but it wasn't long before the first tear fell down his cheek and onto the floor. He held himself, rocking back and forth, loud sobs painfully escaping from deep in his soul out the edge of his lips.

He felt as cold hands wrapped around his bare chest. It was Sirius. Sirius, to the rescue. Sirius, his home.

Sirius, who took care of him,  
Sirius, his angel.

Sirius and Remus, two broken souls.  
Sirius and Remus, holding each other.

Sirius and Remus,  
the perfect pair.  
____________________________________________________________________

Birdhouse in Your Soul -They Might Be Giants  
____________________________________________________________________

"Sirius, I'm disgusting!" Remus shouted, his face red and blotchy. He didn't even notice that he was crying, he was so numb.

"Moony, we've been over this, you can't control-" Sirius tried to hug his friend, only to be shoved away.

"No, Padfoot. Not that," Remus let out an ironic laugh. "I wish it was just that."

"Then what?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Sirius, I'm gay."  
____________________________________________________________________

Autumn Leaves -Ed Sheeran  
____________________________________________________________________

"Moony, it's not your fault!" Sirius tried to grab Remus, but the taller boy kept pulling away.

"It's all my fault! I killed them, I killed them all! It's always my fault! Go away, Black!" Remus shouted. Sirius froze at the use of this last name, and Remus took the opportunity to run.

Remus ran until he was at the top of the astronomy tower, standing on the edge, staring at the ground below, trying to loose Sirius, who was right at his heels. Remus looked down and started to step out.

"Moony, no! I love you!"

Remus closed his eyes as a hand grabbed his wrist. 

He stepped down off the ledge.  
____________________________________________________________________

Alive -One Direction  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus giggled, whiskey in one hand and the other blindly reaching for Sirius' waist.

"Moony, wha-"

"Just relax." Remus' breath smelled like alcohol and chocolate.

"You said- you said we could only be friends?" Sirius squeaked out. Remus just laughed.

"Look, mate. You like blokes. I like blokes," Remus slurred. He paused for a moment. "You like me. I like you. Why not?"

So, that's when Sirius lead an intoxicated Remus upstairs, where they would have on of the best nights of their lives.

_________________________________________________________________

Lovely -Sara Haze  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus woke up the morning after and left with guilt filling his entire being.

He would never be good enough for Sirius.

Not in the mess he was in.

So Remus left to reside in the bathroom, where most of his self loathing happened.

He almost didn't notice a pair of strong hands wrap gently around him.

"I love you, Moony."

"I know, Padfoot."

"Rem-"

"I love you, too, Pads."

Sirius frowned and kissed the top of Remus' head. "I know. But do you love yourself?"

Remus closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, actually, I think I do."

_________________________________________________________________

Caged Bird -Alicia Keys  
____________________________________________________________________

"You know, we really should tell James and Peter," Remus said as Sirius kissed up his neck. "and Lily."

"I know," Sirius whispered, leaving a peck on the edge of Remus' lips. "but I don't think they'd take it well."

"Why not?" Remus asked in between kisses. "I mean, they're pretty accepting people."

"I know. I'm sorry, Moony. I'm scared."

"I know, babe. I am, too," Remus paused for a moment Zabefore smiling softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

_________________________________________________________________

The A Team -Ed Sheeran  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus blew cigarette smoke in Sirius' face in attempt to get his boyfriend's attention.

"You're going to get cancer." Sirius said offhandedly, not even glancing at Remus. Remus just sighed.

"I'm not feeling well." Remus pressed his lips together.

"In what way?" Now Sirius was all ears, looking at the man that he loved so dearly.

"In an apple pie way." Remus replied. Apple pie, their safe word for when Remus wanted to attempt again.

In an instant, the werewolf was covered in a blanket, a mug of tea in hand, snuggled into his boyfriend.

Because that's what love is.  
No questions asked.  
____________________________________________________________________

Little Bird -Ed Sheeran  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus always liked to smoke every hour on the hour and have sex in weird places.

Sirius always liked to wear leather jackets and take spontaneous road trips.

Remus always liked lemon in his tea and chocolate on everything.

Sirius always liked the smell of vanilla and chocolate, especially in a candle.

Remus always liked to write sappy love letters.

Sirius always liked to write sappy love poems.

Remus always liked to look at the stars.

Sirius always liked to look at the clouds.

These are the things that they noticed about each other.  
Because that's what love is.

_________________________________________________________________

Just a Little Bit of Your Heart -Ariana Grande  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus liked to watch when Sirius would laugh. It always seemed so beautiful.

Sometimes, Remus would disappear for a while. Sirius always knew why. He wished he could help, but he knew he couldn't.

All he could do was wish upon a star that his boyfriend wasn't shagging some bird or damaging himself in a desperate attempt to feel better.

Sirius wished that Remus would come to him, but Sirius also knew how outlandish such a request would be.

All he could to was treasure his Moony when he got home; show him the love he deserved.

Because Merlin knows that Remus wouldn't show it to himself.

_________________________________________________________________

I Hope You Dance -Lee Ann Womack  
____________________________________________________________________

Sirius was anxious at first.

Then again, Sirius was always anxious.

He put on a cool face, but he was always one step away from an anxiety attack.

Which was why he was so luck to have a cool-headed, motherly boyfriend.

Remus was always there to calm Sirius down from an anxiety attack, but he also pushed Sirius to grow and calm down a bit.

So when Sirius was about to tell his best friends about his boyfriend, Remus held his hand to guide him along.

At least they could be nervous together.

"James, Peter, Lily?" Their hands were sweaty.

"Yeah?" The three all turned around and looked at them curiously.

"We're in a relationship."

Together.

_________________________________________________________________

Hook -Blues Traveler  
____________________________________________________________________

No one believed them at first.

The entire school thought that it was one giant prank.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

There was no way.

Except, they always held each other's hands in the hallways.

And they kissed each others noses.

And they calmed each other down with a single touch.

They gave each other butterfly kisses,

and, somethimes, they'd be found snogging in empty classrooms,

which ruined Remus' chances at being a Perfect,

but he didn't really care.

They wore each other's clothes,

and they were never apart.

They could always make each other happy,

always make the other laugh, or at least smile.

But the surest way  
to tell that they were in love:

it was written in their eyes.

_________________________________________________________________

Iris -The Goo Goo Dolls  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus hated the days leading up to his transformation day almost as much as he hated the actual transformation.

He got mood swings, cravings, horrible pains, and a general hatred for life.

Remus hated the days coming out of transformation day more than he hated the actual transformation.

It was so easy- to add an extra few scars, in the next few days after.

No one would notice.

...

Sirius noticed.

And Sirius kissed each and every one,  
because Sirius understood the pain.

He had the scars to prove it.

They were just two broken boys,  
hidden away from the world.

Two broken boys,  
hopelessly in love.

_________________________________________________________________

Miss Missing You -Fall Out Boy  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus hated summers.  
He hated going through transformations alone.

Sirius hated summers.  
He hated that Remus was going through transformations alone.  
And his abusive family.  
(At least he had James).

Actually, Sirius was terrified of James' family.

What would they say to they word "gay"?

He started hyperventilating, unable to breath properly, standing alone in his room at the Potters' house. He took out a quill and parchment with violently shaking hands.

"Apple pie." Was all he wrote before sending it off.

The next day, there was a knock on the door.

"Padfoot, Moony's here!"

Because that's what love is.  
No questions asked.  
____________________________________________________________________

Clean -Taylor Swift  
____________________________________________________________________

A few years after they left Hogwarts, Sirius rolled over to see his fiancee in bed next to him. A beautiful sleeping form, with scars and all.

He studied Remus for ages before the blond finally woke up and rolled over to see his fiancee.

"It's been a year." Sirius let out in a breathy whisper. A smile consumed his entire face, and there are no words to express the extreme happiness and pride he felt for the man that was lying next to him.

"Hm? What are you talking about?" Remus asked groggily, half asleep.

"One year. No smoking. No getting drunk. No cutting. No skipping meals. No throwing up. No hooking up with random strangers. One year, clean."

For once, Remus thought of himself  
and smiled.

_________________________________________________________________

Creep -Radiohead  
____________________________________________________________________

They both still said "apple pie" a lot.

But they were always there when each other needed it.

They both skipped meals sometimes,  
both threw up sometimes,  
both gave themselves scars sometimes,  
both got drunk sometimes,  
both smoked sometimes,  
both got high sometimes,  
both cried sometimes,  
both had anxiety attacks sometimes,  
both had panic attacks sometimes,  
both thought about suicide sometimes,

Sometimes.

Key word.

Because, now,

they had each other.

_________________________________________________________________

Act My Age -One Direction  
____________________________________________________________________

Everyone made jokes, when Harry was born,  
about how old James was getting  
(even though they were all the same age).

They all knew, with the war, that they were really getting old; their times, together, was limited.

But they still danced like idiots  
(with Sirius on Remus' toes),

and dared each other,

and pulled pranks.

They still fought over Harry's first word  
(When it was "Pa-foo," James was furious).

And his second  
(When it was "Moony," Lily was a bit angry as well).

But it was what they needed,

They calm before the storm.

_________________________________________________________________

Bloodstream -Ed Sheeran  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus had never felt so betrayed, when Sirius killed all of those people.

For a while, Remus fell back into old habits;  
all of the things that Sirius would tell him not to do.

Remus had pages of "How could he?!" scribbled in ink and blood, angry tears spotting the paper.

He was the only one left.

He was alone.

Except, there's Harry, and oh, how he's grown, already a teenager.

And, then, wait, why is Wormtail on the map?

And then, oh,

my husband is innocent.

Fresh tears arrived; this time, of joy.

Two more years, they had together.

Moony and Padfoot.

They were never apart; inseparable.

They made up for lost time.

But, then,

Sirius was ripped from Remus' life

once again.

But this time,

for good.

_________________________________________________________________

Does He Know? -One Direction  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus felt guilty, when he said yes to Tonks when she asked him on a date.

But, all of those transformations that he had to go through alone-

he couldn't do that again.

So, he said yes.

But he felt guilty for it.

He felt like he was cheating,  
like he would back in school,  
when he felt so sick.

But he kept with it.  
He told himself that Sirius was gone.

Because it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

_________________________________________________________________

Half a Heart  
____________________________________________________________________

Remus knew that he was rushing it with Tonks.

Because he still slept with Sirius' sweater,  
since it was charmed to perpetually smell like the dark-haired man;

because he felt like half of a whole without Sirius.

He married Tonks, had Teddy; he tried to fill the void.

But nothing did.

He cried when he held Teddy in his arms:  
out of love for his child,  
but also out of spite for the universe,  
because the baby wasn't his and Sirius'.

_________________________________________________________________

Savior -Black Veil Brides  
____________________________________________________________________

Everyone was sad when Remus and Tonks died in the battle.

Harry was sad, for another war orphan,

and so he promised to do his damn best in raising the child,  
so that there would not be another soul  
to go through what Harry Potter did.

Everyone was sad, when Remus died,  
as he was the last Marauder.

Everyone was sad, when Remus died,  
because it was too early.

But they didn't know that twice, Remus tried to make it even earlier:  
once, to be saved by Sirius' arrival,  
and once, by Sirius' return.

Now it was Remus' time to return.

Everyone was sad, when Remus died,  
because of their loss.

But Remus only gained,  
for two halves became a whole again.

Padfoot and Moony,  
because that's what love is.


End file.
